Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
