She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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