Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Randomize
