I want to have your abortion
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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