My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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