Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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