Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
