We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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