Just cropdusted the office
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
