I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Randomize
