someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
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