love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
