My room smells like vodka and shame
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
