I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
