So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
