made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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