Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
