if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
