My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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