My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
