Redeem this text for a blowjob
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
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