when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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