Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Randomize
