you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
