she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
