Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Randomize
