OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
where are my eyebrows?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
