paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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