(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
