So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
wow bdsm is so cute
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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