you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
