please come you make the beer taste better
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
This baby is an asshole
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
