he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
im holly from the hills drunk
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
