grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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