One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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