if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
My pussy is not your playground.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
