i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
