Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
His nipple licking is glorious
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