Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
