No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
