The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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