ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
