Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
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