Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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