she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I FOUND THE LEGS
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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