none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Randomize
