hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
