mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I'm passing your future prison.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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