She went from zero to smokin in five shots
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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