She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
